Soul Mates - - History of the Soul Mate Myth & Challenges in Soul Mate Marriages

What are the Chances of Marrying Your Soul Mate?

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

The notion of "soul mates" has been around a very, very long time.

However, there are several viewpoints as to how to describe "soul mates" ... even on how to spell it! Some people spell the term as a whole word, soulmate and others, including us, prefer to keep it as two words, soul mate.

Soul Mate Descriptions

* Reincarnation: Some believe that a soul mate is someone with whom a person has shared other life times through reincarnation.

The soul mate could be a friend, business partner, parent, child, sibling, spouse or other family member. These soul mates can be of the same or opposite sex.

* Other Half: Others believe, like the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, that a soul mate is a person's "other half". This concept was the basis of the movie, "The Butcher's Wife" where the idea of "split-aparts" searching for one another was explored.

People all over the world believe that we are all searching for someone to make us whole and to share our journey of life with.

* A dictionary definition is: One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

Someone for whom you have a deep affinity . A person temperamentally suited to another.

* Predestination: The movie "Still Breathing" examines the thought that people are drawn together as soul mates by destiny or fate and that being with our soul mate is something we have no control over. This idea of predestination and connection even after death between soul mates was also examined in the movie "What Dreams May Come".

* Making Life Come to Life: Richard Bach describes soul mates as "A soulmate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person were safe in our paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. "

* Profound Connection:Thomas Moore, in his book Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship, page xvii, describes a soul mate as "someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life."

* Feeling at Ease With one Another: We don't believe a soul mate is the ideal or one and only person in someone's life. Our definition of soul mates is people who together want to work on making their marriage a great one. Their relationship feels like a natural fit, and although they need to work on their marriage, it is not hard to do. When soul mates first meet, there is an immediate sense of being at ease and connected.

* General Belief: Most believe that soul mates can accept and love every part of the other's personality and that life with a soul mate is easy and natural.

Soul Mate Challenges
Although you may assume that a partnership of two soul mates should be able to handle challenging times well, that may not always be the case. Just because they are in tune to one another, are each willing to take responsibility for their role in contributing to the conflict, and are both committed to making the marriage a successful one -- the marriage can still fall apart if other essentials such as love, respect, and communication are missing.

Many people have probably already married their soul mates and simply don't realize it. The danger in believing in the concept of soul mates is taking your marriage relationship for granted.

If you start looking for perfection in your spouse, or think that everything in your relationship should immediately click, and that there won't be any problems, you are setting yourself up for a dose of heavy disillusionment.

There can be temptation to bail out of an unhappy marriage because you think your spouse isn't your soul mate. If you think that marrying your soul mate will mean a life free from hard times and conflict, you are not facing reality.

If you think you've not married your soul mate, don't just walk away from the relationship for that reason alone. Spend some time getting to know yourself a bit better first. You can't find your soul mate if you haven't found yourself.